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Nov. 21st, 2007
How to make it good: Star Wars 2
Nov. 21st, 2007 03:40 amAnd moving on to Episode 2, here is where keeping George becomes ever more important. Though its possible we'll have to move from puppets up to cute videos of kittens and ducklings. The important thing is to have a director who can bring out Natalie Portman's actual acting talent and a writer who can craft some decent dialogue...
The set-up is simple enough. Advance the time line 10ish years, putting our romantic leads in their 20s. Annie has been off doing Jedi stuff with Kenobi. Queen Amy was convinced by her friend Palpatine to change Naboo over to one of those figure head monarchy type things. And he's their Prime Ministerial guy. She, because being a Queen with no power is DEAD boring, has taken over as Senator. And she's fallen in with an older senator, who serves as her mentor. That handsome Jimmy Smitts/Bail Organa (Organo? I forget how its spelled). The Trade Federation and their allies (all non-humans) have withdrawn from the Republic, sort of. Its all in a cold war kind of set up. Queen Amy and Senator Bail are the heads of a peace faction looking to resolve it all diplomatically. Palpatine is the figurehead for a more aggresive faction, one that shows a lot of Pro-human/anti-alien bias. Putting a strain on the Nabooians friendship...
So this is when Obiwan and Annie return. Also we'll get a DECENT actor to play adult Anakin. Plenty to pick from. Annie and Amy meet and sparks fly. But Amy's pretty much engaged to Bail. Yay! Romantic tension! This makes Annie grumpy. Obiwan learns that there is a plot by somebody to kill the heads of the Peace Faction. Republic Security and Nabooian security think its zealous TF types. Obiwan guards Bail and Annie guards Amy. And of course plucky droid then saves Queen Amy from the deadly whatevers. Yay for plucky droid. He's so brave!
Anyway, we thus get to keep the whole chase through the skyways of Coruscant. Which was actually pretty freaking cool. Anny and Obiwan catch the assassin, but she dies on them (force compulsion to suicide lets say), but they learn about Planet Wellamakasomeclones and a someone named Count Dooku. Actually he won't be named Dooku. Because thats such a STUPID name. We'll go with Nex. It sounds creepy and its Greek or something for violent death...
So Obiwan will go and check Planet Secret and Annie will take the Peace Faction to stash them somewhere. "Hey," Annie says. "We'll go visit my moms. I haven't been back since she married that moisture farmer guy." So off Annie and Amy and Bail and Plucky Droid and Body Double (who is now a smoking hottie of a female bodyguard for Amy AND a spy for Palpatine) go to Tattoine. There they have a happy family reunion. Annie meets his little half-brother, whatever Luke's Uncle was named. And then sand people raid! Oh noes! Annie's mom gets killed and he goes bug fuck. Killing any raiders he comes across. Then leading a mob of vengeful moisture farmers back to the sand people camp, where they murderlize all the remaining sand people, including any womens and kids. Beucoup dark side points for Annie from all this...
Meanwhile on the other side of the 'verse, Obiwan reaches the secret planet and passes himself off as a servant of Count Nex. He meets the skinny alien science lizards and their human elite Mandolarian Guard and finds out about the clone army SOMEONE had grown. He radios back to the Jedi his info and then gets ambushed by some M.Gs actually working for Nex. He beats them, interogates one and heads off to Planet Robotfactory where Nex is supposed to be. He passes that info back to the Council, who tell Palpatine and the Senate. Palpatine drops the info to Annie and the Peace Faction. "Yo Annie! Its your buddy Palp. Obiwan is heading into danger and the Council and Senate are debating what to do. So you know THEY won't be doing anything anytime soon. You and the others should TOTALLY go help Obiwan."
"Thanks Palp. You is a true friend."
Of course Palpatine uses the abscense of the Peace Faction to get the Senate all roiled up and a formal decleration of war made, with him as Grand War Poobah dude. You know, just until this state of emergancy is over...
So Annie and the others VROOM off to RoboPlanet. Where they all get caught. Except no giant CGI spooge fest of a robot factory scene. 'Cause that was just a headache of pointless. Nex and his TF buddies feed the good guys to some monsters in a big arena, but Obiwan pops up and frees them to fight the monsters. Big monster fight. Good guys win. Bad guys laugh and send in the robots. Jedi cavalry! Yay! Bigger fight! Good guys winning. Oh noes! Clone reinforcements. Jedi retreat. Republican Army cavalry! Robot/Clones retreat. All are happy. Yoda and some others (including Annie) try to stop Nex. But he smacks Annie's punk ass down and fights Yoda to a stand still and escapes. And no there is no leet skills Yoda. We will have no geezer ninja muppetry in this movie! Annie gets patched up, Amy is all "my twue luv" and ditches poor heart broken Bail. The two go off to Naboo to have big wedding while the Republic and Trade Federation both continue mobilizing for war. Yoda is still all worried. Palpatine is all secretly gloaty. Roll credits...
Coming Soon, the big finish!
The set-up is simple enough. Advance the time line 10ish years, putting our romantic leads in their 20s. Annie has been off doing Jedi stuff with Kenobi. Queen Amy was convinced by her friend Palpatine to change Naboo over to one of those figure head monarchy type things. And he's their Prime Ministerial guy. She, because being a Queen with no power is DEAD boring, has taken over as Senator. And she's fallen in with an older senator, who serves as her mentor. That handsome Jimmy Smitts/Bail Organa (Organo? I forget how its spelled). The Trade Federation and their allies (all non-humans) have withdrawn from the Republic, sort of. Its all in a cold war kind of set up. Queen Amy and Senator Bail are the heads of a peace faction looking to resolve it all diplomatically. Palpatine is the figurehead for a more aggresive faction, one that shows a lot of Pro-human/anti-alien bias. Putting a strain on the Nabooians friendship...
So this is when Obiwan and Annie return. Also we'll get a DECENT actor to play adult Anakin. Plenty to pick from. Annie and Amy meet and sparks fly. But Amy's pretty much engaged to Bail. Yay! Romantic tension! This makes Annie grumpy. Obiwan learns that there is a plot by somebody to kill the heads of the Peace Faction. Republic Security and Nabooian security think its zealous TF types. Obiwan guards Bail and Annie guards Amy. And of course plucky droid then saves Queen Amy from the deadly whatevers. Yay for plucky droid. He's so brave!
Anyway, we thus get to keep the whole chase through the skyways of Coruscant. Which was actually pretty freaking cool. Anny and Obiwan catch the assassin, but she dies on them (force compulsion to suicide lets say), but they learn about Planet Wellamakasomeclones and a someone named Count Dooku. Actually he won't be named Dooku. Because thats such a STUPID name. We'll go with Nex. It sounds creepy and its Greek or something for violent death...
So Obiwan will go and check Planet Secret and Annie will take the Peace Faction to stash them somewhere. "Hey," Annie says. "We'll go visit my moms. I haven't been back since she married that moisture farmer guy." So off Annie and Amy and Bail and Plucky Droid and Body Double (who is now a smoking hottie of a female bodyguard for Amy AND a spy for Palpatine) go to Tattoine. There they have a happy family reunion. Annie meets his little half-brother, whatever Luke's Uncle was named. And then sand people raid! Oh noes! Annie's mom gets killed and he goes bug fuck. Killing any raiders he comes across. Then leading a mob of vengeful moisture farmers back to the sand people camp, where they murderlize all the remaining sand people, including any womens and kids. Beucoup dark side points for Annie from all this...
Meanwhile on the other side of the 'verse, Obiwan reaches the secret planet and passes himself off as a servant of Count Nex. He meets the skinny alien science lizards and their human elite Mandolarian Guard and finds out about the clone army SOMEONE had grown. He radios back to the Jedi his info and then gets ambushed by some M.Gs actually working for Nex. He beats them, interogates one and heads off to Planet Robotfactory where Nex is supposed to be. He passes that info back to the Council, who tell Palpatine and the Senate. Palpatine drops the info to Annie and the Peace Faction. "Yo Annie! Its your buddy Palp. Obiwan is heading into danger and the Council and Senate are debating what to do. So you know THEY won't be doing anything anytime soon. You and the others should TOTALLY go help Obiwan."
"Thanks Palp. You is a true friend."
Of course Palpatine uses the abscense of the Peace Faction to get the Senate all roiled up and a formal decleration of war made, with him as Grand War Poobah dude. You know, just until this state of emergancy is over...
So Annie and the others VROOM off to RoboPlanet. Where they all get caught. Except no giant CGI spooge fest of a robot factory scene. 'Cause that was just a headache of pointless. Nex and his TF buddies feed the good guys to some monsters in a big arena, but Obiwan pops up and frees them to fight the monsters. Big monster fight. Good guys win. Bad guys laugh and send in the robots. Jedi cavalry! Yay! Bigger fight! Good guys winning. Oh noes! Clone reinforcements. Jedi retreat. Republican Army cavalry! Robot/Clones retreat. All are happy. Yoda and some others (including Annie) try to stop Nex. But he smacks Annie's punk ass down and fights Yoda to a stand still and escapes. And no there is no leet skills Yoda. We will have no geezer ninja muppetry in this movie! Annie gets patched up, Amy is all "my twue luv" and ditches poor heart broken Bail. The two go off to Naboo to have big wedding while the Republic and Trade Federation both continue mobilizing for war. Yoda is still all worried. Palpatine is all secretly gloaty. Roll credits...
Coming Soon, the big finish!
New Comics Day
Nov. 21st, 2007 08:04 pmAnd after a delay while I attempt to sleep again. Ha ha! It is to laugh. Sleep. Who needs that? *sobs*
Ok!
Back to comics!
In addition to my floppies, also got some trades this week. The new minx book kimmie66 that I haven't done more than flip thru (though its written and drawn by Aaron Alexovich, so I'm loving the art already). The latest Queen & Country which looks to be both depressing and awesome. Poor Tara. And lastly amazon delivered my copy of Arkham Asylum: Living Hell where the Joker gets to look down on someone with moral superiority...
But over to the regular comics. Starting with The Programme where the American super-humans finish getting activated. And so do the Russians. And then everything keeps getting worse. And someone plays the tacnuke card. Uh oh!
Then its Ex Machina, with a flashback to Hundred getting beat up by an old guy and then a meeting with Da Pope. Also crazy Russian!
Army@Love continues to be near impossible to thumbnail. Theres a monkey though. And sneaky Koreans. But mainly a mojo restoring monkey. Monkey!
On the latest G0dland, Neela Archer may be coming home. Plus plotting by Nicklehead and the duo of the Tormentor and Basil Discordia. And Adam and Maxim face off against the Triad in the hopes of stopping their Doomsday Weapon. And get an assist from a mob of half-naked prostitutes in gorilla masks. Or they might have actual gorilla heads. Its like Kirby on crack folks!
Happily on Invincible someones not dead. Unhappily Dupli-Kate's brother Multi-Paul is on a rampage. And a verdict is handed down to the imprisoned Omni-Man. DEATH!
Groo: Hell on Earth attempts to answer one of life's oldest questions. Which is worse, Groo or Industrial Air Pollution? The answer may shock you!
Then in The Umbrella Academy Dr. Terminal's Terminus Robots rampage. And #1 and #2 treat #7 like shit. Which may be something they come to regret. Never piss off a concert violist people!
And we finish with the world's greatest super-hero comic, ps238. Where while in stuck in in the isolation chamber, Tyler gets stuck with psychic visions of Principal Cranston's time as President of the United States. Also news of a ps238 RPG using a simplified version of the HERO System. SWEET!
Ok!
Back to comics!
In addition to my floppies, also got some trades this week. The new minx book kimmie66 that I haven't done more than flip thru (though its written and drawn by Aaron Alexovich, so I'm loving the art already). The latest Queen & Country which looks to be both depressing and awesome. Poor Tara. And lastly amazon delivered my copy of Arkham Asylum: Living Hell where the Joker gets to look down on someone with moral superiority...
But over to the regular comics. Starting with The Programme where the American super-humans finish getting activated. And so do the Russians. And then everything keeps getting worse. And someone plays the tacnuke card. Uh oh!
Then its Ex Machina, with a flashback to Hundred getting beat up by an old guy and then a meeting with Da Pope. Also crazy Russian!
Army@Love continues to be near impossible to thumbnail. Theres a monkey though. And sneaky Koreans. But mainly a mojo restoring monkey. Monkey!
On the latest G0dland, Neela Archer may be coming home. Plus plotting by Nicklehead and the duo of the Tormentor and Basil Discordia. And Adam and Maxim face off against the Triad in the hopes of stopping their Doomsday Weapon. And get an assist from a mob of half-naked prostitutes in gorilla masks. Or they might have actual gorilla heads. Its like Kirby on crack folks!
Happily on Invincible someones not dead. Unhappily Dupli-Kate's brother Multi-Paul is on a rampage. And a verdict is handed down to the imprisoned Omni-Man. DEATH!
Groo: Hell on Earth attempts to answer one of life's oldest questions. Which is worse, Groo or Industrial Air Pollution? The answer may shock you!
Then in The Umbrella Academy Dr. Terminal's Terminus Robots rampage. And #1 and #2 treat #7 like shit. Which may be something they come to regret. Never piss off a concert violist people!
And we finish with the world's greatest super-hero comic, ps238. Where while in stuck in in the isolation chamber, Tyler gets stuck with psychic visions of Principal Cranston's time as President of the United States. Also news of a ps238 RPG using a simplified version of the HERO System. SWEET!
