A Descent into Dullness

From the f-list:

Lest you dismiss this because you're vigorous and healthy, like the Spanish Flu, it's primarily young and healthy people who have been killed by swine flu.

Hah! I'm old and fat. IMMUNE! IMMUNE!

There is no way to please people who have already made up their mind about you, so I've stopped trying. Feminists, WoC, whatever PC label you want to put on your perpetual nitpicking to make it seem like you possess a moral high ground that can somehow be substituted for actual reasoning: You do great shame to your cause by being so willfully close-minded and emotional. Not once, not twice, but just about EVERY SINGLE TIME I've posted an opinion that DARED not fall in line with the femi-comics-bloggers' groupthink, I'm instantly labeled a troll, attacked personally, and then dismissed out of hand.

Oh you poor, poor man. The way we all pointed out your generalizations about soldiers in WW2 were inaccurate. HOW CRUEL OF US! Emotionally cruel!

Good grief. Its a shame that a good idea can be so botched when put into practice. But I shouldn't be surprised, its the exact same thing that happened with libertarians. Libertarianism is a noble idea whose proponents just happen to by hypocritical assholes when you actually talk with them. And I was about ready to put feminists in this category too when I realized these people aren't real feminists any more than someone advocating the end of ALL taxes is a real libertarian.

This part was just for my Lib friends. You hear that scarybaldguy, dunkelza. I always suspected you of this. ALWAYS!

Sincerely,


The "Troll" (a label so original and creative, it just smacks of proof that female writers are being discriminated against regularly)

What? No seriously, what the hell is he trying to say there?

PS: For you-know-who... I'm gonna pass on the offer to fuck you as your personality leaves more than a little to be desired, and from the tone of your writing we already know where you stand in the looks department.

I think that last one was directed at you morchades. Because thats how physical beauty is determined. Writing tone...

Still need a nickname for him. I think I'll just steal from Ami and call him The Flouncer. Stay strong The Flouncer!

Yoinked from hotel_workers

"I am a Front Desk Agent"

I have advanced degrees in Accounting, Public Relations, Marketing, Business, Computer Science, Civil Engineering, and Swahili. I can also read minds.

Of course I have the reservation that you booked six years ago even though you don't have the confirmation number and you think it was made under a name that starts with "S".

It is completely my fault that the blizzard shut down the airport and you have to sleep in a warm king-size bed while 5000 of your co-travellers are sleeping in benches at the airport. I am sorry.


It is not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, non-smoking, poolside suites with two king beds in each, four rollaways, 3 cribs, and yes, I can install a wet bar. I know it is my fault that we do not have a helicopter landing pad.

I am a Front Desk Agent. I am expected to speak all languages fluently. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday on the weekend we're sold out that you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions, and yes, I am lying to you when I say we have no more rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms. THIS time I will not forget the helicopter landing pad. And it is my fault that everyone wanted to stay here. I should have known you were coming in, even though you had no reservation. After all, you stay at our brand of hotel all the time, 300 nights a year, and this is only the first time you've ever been to our city.

I am a front desk agent. I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, taking five reservations, answering fifteen incoming calls, delivering six bath towels to room 625, plunging the toilet in room 101, and restocking the supply of pool towels, all at the same time. Yes, I will be glad to call the van driver and tell him to drive over all the cars stuck in traffic because you've been waiting at the airport for 15 minutes and you've got jet lag.

I am a front desk agent, an operator, a bellhop, houseman, guest service representative, housekeeper, sales coordinator, information specialist, entertainment critic, restauranteur, stock broker, referee, janitor, computer technician, plumber, ice-breaker, postman, babysitter, dispatcher, laundry cleaner, lifeguard, electrician, ambassador, personal fitness trainer, fax expert, human jukebox, domestic abuse counselor, and verbal punching bag. Yes, I know room 112 is not answering their phone. And of course I have their travel itinerary so I know exactly where they went when they left here 9 hours ago, and what their cell phone number is.

I always know where to find the best vegetarian-kosher-Mongolian-barbecue restaurants. I know exactly what to see and do in this city in fifteen minutes without spending any money and without getting caught in traffic. I take personal blame for airline food, traffic jams, rental car flat tires, and the nation's economy.

I realize that you meant to book your reservation here. People often confuse us with the Galaxy Delight Motel, Antarctica. Of course I can "fit you in" and yes, you may have the special $1 rate because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting and Bagel Club.

I am expected to smile, empathize, sympathize, console, condole, upsell, downsell (and know when to do which), perform, sing, dance, fix the printer, and tell your friends that you're here. And I know exactly where 613 Possum Trot Lane is in the Way Out There subdivision that they just built last week.

After all, I AM a Front Desk Agent!