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Nov. 14th, 2007
Where I 'splain how to make it good
Nov. 14th, 2007 07:07 amWhile skimming the old blog roll this morning, I came across a post on the wretched Catwoman movie. Where I learned that there was actually a first draft of the script that was WORSE than the finished, filmed product. Bizarre.
But this has inspired me to do a new semi-regular feature. LurkerWithout Tells You How To Fix Your Movie. Yes thats right. I'll tell Hollywood what needs to be done to take some craptacular Razzie award winner, Rotten Tomato stinker, fan derided movie and make it good. Because I'm such a nice guy...
So obviously we'll be starting with Catwoman. First new cast. Because I'd prefer people who can, you know act. We'll even leave the same basic three leads. Catwoman. Cop chasing Catwoman. Evil female crime boss.
So for Selina. Race doesn't matter. The actresses' ability to sell being a martial artist who runs around leaping from rooftops is. So I'm going to say Gina Torres (of Firefly and Alias). Gina can definately pull of being sexy AND bad ass...
Next the cop. We'll stick with a L&O vet, but go with Dennis Farrina. Because he makes a cooler cop...
And for the female villain? I'll say Edie Falco. Mostly because after all those years of dealing with Tony she deserves a chance to whack some goombas of her own...
Now to the plot!
Selina arrives in city. She steals stuff. Cops look like chumps. Selina hangs with criminals. Selina is betrayed by Crime Boss Lady. Selina is captured (possibly have friend/romantic interest hurt) but escapes. Selina goes after Crime Boss Lady, gets her and all her people caught by cops. Selina escapes with all of money (possibly with hurt friend/romantic interest who's hospital bed is empty despite police guards). Boss Lady fumes in jail, Cop vows to capture master criminal, Selina celebrates victory (possibly with friend/romantic interest). Roll Credits...
But this has inspired me to do a new semi-regular feature. LurkerWithout Tells You How To Fix Your Movie. Yes thats right. I'll tell Hollywood what needs to be done to take some craptacular Razzie award winner, Rotten Tomato stinker, fan derided movie and make it good. Because I'm such a nice guy...
So obviously we'll be starting with Catwoman. First new cast. Because I'd prefer people who can, you know act. We'll even leave the same basic three leads. Catwoman. Cop chasing Catwoman. Evil female crime boss.
So for Selina. Race doesn't matter. The actresses' ability to sell being a martial artist who runs around leaping from rooftops is. So I'm going to say Gina Torres (of Firefly and Alias). Gina can definately pull of being sexy AND bad ass...
Next the cop. We'll stick with a L&O vet, but go with Dennis Farrina. Because he makes a cooler cop...
And for the female villain? I'll say Edie Falco. Mostly because after all those years of dealing with Tony she deserves a chance to whack some goombas of her own...
Now to the plot!
Selina arrives in city. She steals stuff. Cops look like chumps. Selina hangs with criminals. Selina is betrayed by Crime Boss Lady. Selina is captured (possibly have friend/romantic interest hurt) but escapes. Selina goes after Crime Boss Lady, gets her and all her people caught by cops. Selina escapes with all of money (possibly with hurt friend/romantic interest who's hospital bed is empty despite police guards). Boss Lady fumes in jail, Cop vows to capture master criminal, Selina celebrates victory (possibly with friend/romantic interest). Roll Credits...
New Comics Day
Nov. 14th, 2007 05:30 pmManaged to get those two comics that have been sitting in my box for the last two weeks. Of course I could stare sadly at the finally released League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Black Dossier hardback. And the Sgt. Rock Showcase trade. And the JLA: Ultramarines tpb. Oh yeah and a new minx book. Oh well, always next week...
But first to the delayed books. Proof from Image is about Agent Ginger Brown's first day after transfered from the FBI to the mysterious lodge after an encounter with a golem during a diamond robbery. And meeting her new partner John "Proof" Prufrock, a Sasquatch...
The other book was Tales of the FEAR Agent which looks to be a one-shot. And takes place in between the original series and the mini. Heath's looking to die but first he has to rescue some orphans from a heartless corporation that mines sun's into early nova-dom...
Then on to the new books. Starting with issue 3 of Brit. Which means I somehow missed the second issue. How annoying. Brit's sister and Donald are searching for Brit and may have found him in a secret deep freeze. Or not...
Jumping into the next issue of the Suicide Squad mini Flag and Rustam finish their adventure in Skataris. And then Waller reveals what bait she has to dangle in front of Rick to get him back to leading the Squad for her...
Over on 100 Bullets, Graves and the Minutemen continue to whittle down the families of the Trust. Though Victor takes a break to wreak some righteous vengeance on some bastards...
DMZ appears to be another one-shot issue, dealing with "gangster" who runs China Town in the Zone. It also has a guest artist Danijel Zezelj; whose muddy heavily shadowed style is part of what drove me away from Loveless...
Next we've got Fables, where Good King Ambrose delivers a warning to the Horde facing him. And then agrees to single combat against one of the Empire's champions...
Then its back to Marvel, with a new Nova. Where Rich and the Worldmind, though still infected, have escaped the Phalanx. Only to find themselves at the end of time. With alien zombie super-heroes, talking dogs and other strangeness...
And we finish with me adding another pull. Avengers: The Initiative. Yeah, I'm shocked by that too. But Slott's writing on this is just too good to keep passing up. Though someone should tell artist Stefano Caselli that Betty Brant is 1: a brunette and 2: not 14. Still I do get to see the alliance between the U.S. government and S.H.I.E.L.D. starting to fray at the seams. And watch as Vance "Justice" Astrovik starts to lose his temper with the stalling and lies his "superiors" have been handing down to him...
But first to the delayed books. Proof from Image is about Agent Ginger Brown's first day after transfered from the FBI to the mysterious lodge after an encounter with a golem during a diamond robbery. And meeting her new partner John "Proof" Prufrock, a Sasquatch...
The other book was Tales of the FEAR Agent which looks to be a one-shot. And takes place in between the original series and the mini. Heath's looking to die but first he has to rescue some orphans from a heartless corporation that mines sun's into early nova-dom...
Then on to the new books. Starting with issue 3 of Brit. Which means I somehow missed the second issue. How annoying. Brit's sister and Donald are searching for Brit and may have found him in a secret deep freeze. Or not...
Jumping into the next issue of the Suicide Squad mini Flag and Rustam finish their adventure in Skataris. And then Waller reveals what bait she has to dangle in front of Rick to get him back to leading the Squad for her...
Over on 100 Bullets, Graves and the Minutemen continue to whittle down the families of the Trust. Though Victor takes a break to wreak some righteous vengeance on some bastards...
DMZ appears to be another one-shot issue, dealing with "gangster" who runs China Town in the Zone. It also has a guest artist Danijel Zezelj; whose muddy heavily shadowed style is part of what drove me away from Loveless...
Next we've got Fables, where Good King Ambrose delivers a warning to the Horde facing him. And then agrees to single combat against one of the Empire's champions...
Then its back to Marvel, with a new Nova. Where Rich and the Worldmind, though still infected, have escaped the Phalanx. Only to find themselves at the end of time. With alien zombie super-heroes, talking dogs and other strangeness...
And we finish with me adding another pull. Avengers: The Initiative. Yeah, I'm shocked by that too. But Slott's writing on this is just too good to keep passing up. Though someone should tell artist Stefano Caselli that Betty Brant is 1: a brunette and 2: not 14. Still I do get to see the alliance between the U.S. government and S.H.I.E.L.D. starting to fray at the seams. And watch as Vance "Justice" Astrovik starts to lose his temper with the stalling and lies his "superiors" have been handing down to him...