Mucho Delayed New Comics Day

And after being delayed from Wednesday (for that sneaky Christmas thing) to Friday and then delayed from posting about (for that crazy need sleep thing) its now time for COMICS! Yay comics! I even got a reorder on one of the many books I missed over the last month, Suicide Squad #4, where Waller has a talk with The General/General Wade Eilling/The Shaggy Man. And gives King Farraday the most difficult job on the new Squad. Acting as her consience...

Then we've got the regular team back on Blue Beetle. Which you can tell because A: Jaime is Awesome. B: Jamie's mom is Double Awesome. And C: Jaime's Dad is Awesome to the Nth Degree...

Next in Jack of Fables, Jack reaches Americana, gets a drink and is forced to team up with Page. Who takes him to the town of Idyll (now filled with zombies) to meet Burner (a new, eviler librarian - guess what he does?). Also everyone keeps thinking he's Wicked John...

After that another New Warriors which is still having issues with speechifying characters. Though there are a COUPLE scenes that feel more like conversations rather than dueling monologues. Plus Tony unveils the Initiative plan to combat the popularity of the New Warriors among rebellious youth. The Junior Guardsmen. Seriously, its like Tony's own Hitler Youth. Least subtle TONY IS AN EVIL FASCIST jibe yet...

Then we've got X-Men First Class where the X-Men defeat the army of Sentinels because their powers are gone. And then have to go and try and rescue the next closest group of mutants, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch. Plus bonus Mini-Marvels where Iron Man helps WOlverine move his "incredibly large volume of personal belongings"...

We follow up with Avengers: The Initiative where Hank Pym, Stature and the new Ant-Man throw down giant-size. And then get schooled by the Taskmaster in about 3 seconds. Also Hank? When the two people giving you advice on how to make your Super-hero Army are Henry Gyrich and a NAZI SCIENCE VILLAIN do the OPPOSITE of what they say. ALWAYS avoid doing what the FUCKING NAZI says...

Next Rick Spears and Rob G finish up Repo with lots of gunplay, chainsaws, fire, death, blood and an angry tiger...

Then I get issue of 3 of Proof (though my reorder on 2 hasn't come in yet). With the two Lodge agents continuing to investigate the Chupacabra sighting in Minnesota...

And we finish with the first of a two-part Invincible spin-off Invinciple presents Atom Eve. The first issue is all origin, childhood and early crime fighting...

Making it good: Bring it on

Oh ho, you say. We all already know where you're going with this. We all know about your lesbian fetish. And thats why you'll just say the movie needs to be an hour and a half of hard-core lesbian cheerleader scenes...

Which will be true. When I make the pornographic parody Get it on starring Kirsten Doesit and Elesbian Coozeku. But until then, lets take a look at how to make it good with only an R (or even PG-13) rating...

I see two ways to go about this. And those are dependant on how "evil" you want the rival poor/black/urban school to be. The first way you have Dunst and Dushku's characters having a secret affair. One that the Rival Black Head Cheerleader. Ok, hold on a second, I'm going to look up the actress real quick. Right, Gabrielle Union. Anyway, you have Union's character threaten Dunst and Dushku with exposure unless they admit to the move stealing, quit the competition, etc etc et. And since this is essentially a sports movie, it means the two leads come out to everyone. Nearly all of whom accept them for who they are, they go one to the competition and beat the "evil" blackmailers...

But how is that one good now? Well it has Dushku and Dunst making out a lot. Duh...

The second way is to have Union's character be a closeted lesbian. And have the former Preppy School Cheer Captain (back to IMBD!) Nicole Bilderback's Whitney I think? Anyway, she and Union's Isis are secretly a couple. But (Whitney) uses the relationship to steal the moves of Isis' team and then dumps her. So Isis is all hurt and devastated. At the same time Dunst's Torrance (also someone Whitney has been secretly involved with) has been dumped by (Whitney) when the former Cheer Captain goes off to college. And now Torrance is Cheer Captain...

So Isis and Torrance meet at some Secret Teen Lesbian Club. Both are attracted to each other, but don't know about their mutual ex. Torrance finds out first but (stupidly and clichedly) keeps it a secret to keep her new girlfriend. Isis finds out and flips. Eventual reconciliation, outing to friends (who are MOSTLY acceptive and cool), payback delivered to (Whitney) by Dushku (who's Missy - really? her name was Missy? - is straight) who as the tough best friend beats the stuffing out of (Whitney) at the big cheer competition. Group hug, Isis/Torrance passionately kiss. Roll credits...

Yes this is about Jimmy so you should just skim ahead

Scott, there's nothing new with that. It's a tried and true tactic of all political movements and agenda groups. The Christians did it with Pegans, when they referred to them as "witches and heritics." The Nazis did it, by portraying the Jews as a sub-human species. The Soviets did it, when they referred to the West nations as "capitalist pigs." And Islamic extremists do it today, when referring to America (or any industialized nation they are opposed to) as "Imperialist Infidels." Such labeling is done for one reason: To dehumanize the perceived "enemy." This then makes it easier for the "faithful" of the group to viciously attack them, without the problems of conscience getting in the way. After all, the "enemy" isn't human like they are. They aren't people like them. They are LESS than that. So, to distort their words, or paint them as "evil oppressors" is okay. It's not like they are doing that to "real people." It's the dehumanized enemy and they deserve no better.

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. You can't play the Nazi card in the FIRST fucking paragraph. Lead the read along. Let 'em think you want to make rational and reasoned points. THEN BAM! Ya hit 'em with comparing your "opponent" to a Nazi. That "opponent" being a person critical of one of the half-dozen people whose blogs you're welcome on that you're not married to...

Though, actually Scott annoys me less of late, so I'll give him a link back. Link to Scott!. Though he's still bant...

Are you a bad enough dude to save Baby New Year?

...and the workers inside were saved by Wolverine.